I want to start fresh.

its 2015 and I haven't changed in to more positive person. Astaghfirullahala'zim

I want to start fresh.

I dont want to care anymore. I can feel myself changing into someone I dont want to be. I kind of find myself a selfish person now. All I care now, is about how I feel, and who I want, what I want, where I want to be and what I want to do. I hate how this is changing me. I should be as happy as ever.

Maybe too much patience has changed me into who I am today.

that's not something that I'm ever proud of.

I want to start fresh.

I want to forget about things that doesn't matter, about people who doesn't repay my kindness, about people who does not appreciate my existence, about my past, about my immaturity. I want to be stronger than who I was. I want to leave my past far behind. I want to be happy.

I want to succeed in life. I want to always be in His blessings. I want to always be near Allah swt no matter the difficulty. I want Him to be my best secret keeper
 Bet,He already is.




and by this post, its so obvious I've turned into a selfish beast. What happened to me?

I trust Allah. maybe the change I have now, isn't something good to my eyes. but I believe there's a blessing in disguise. I can't wait to see what it is.

Astaghfirullahala'zim, Ya Allah, forgive me. Redirect me and give peace to my life, ya Rabb